Whether it’s a friend, family or a lover; we always expect something in return of our commitment and love. What happens when we don’t get that? To be honest, I have been through this all the time. I always start expecting real soon and end up getting hurt. However, after some time you get immune to such kind of feelings, you stop expecting anything. In short, you become an emotionless, cold hearted person.
No one wants to be that person. Also, no one wants to cry and get hurt after having expectations. Well there is always a mid-way for everything. Have a different perspective about life.
Look at it this way, the more you expect, and the more you focus on people rather than focusing on yourself. You stop doing what makes you happy in the fear of not getting the same in return. I had a conversation with someone just like us, someone who has find a way through this and ended up being a much happier and satisfied person.
While asking that person about what she went through and how she survive with everything that was going on in her life I came to a conclusion.
She said, “You should only try your hardest to meet your own expectations, other’s shouldn’t matter that much.”
Having expectations is not bad at all, it keeps your standards high and won’t let you go for anyone or anything below that. This way you will find the one that truly matters and for whom you have been waiting for. There are so many amazing people in your life whether it is a friend or a lover or family and you don’t want to lose them by wanting them to meet your exact needs. People have their own lives and characteristics that make them different from others. Maybe their way of treating you is different, but that’s their way. Don’t do something for them with the desire to get something in return rather do it from your heart. Feel happy about what you did and how you made them feel. Don’t do it so that they can do the same or bigger than what you did.
For example when you travel to another country, you don’t know their language so you don’t understand them and neither do they. Similarly when someone tries to love you in their own way and you don’t understand, that doesn’t mean they are not doing it correctly, it’s not them that needs to change it’s your understanding about them and the situation.
Work on yourself to that extent where you don’t have crazy expectations from others. When you do that you see yourself clearly and understand the true essence of a relationship in which understanding is must. You will start to observe what they do rather than what you want them to do. When you see more clearly, you can respond more effectively. Start building your own happiness and confidence on your thoughts and belief.
Hoping for the outcome you desire is one thing, but trying to force it and being overrun with negative thoughts and feelings is lethal. It will ruin your relationship as you, yourself. When you base your feelings on the actions of other people, you are setting yourself for some long run misery.
STOP EXPECTING AND START LIVING IN THE MOMENT!